I feel pains during love-making

Dear Julie,

My husband and I enjoy lovemaking a lot and it’s one thing that keeps our relationship going despite having three children. My man respects me for that and has never cheated for as long as I could remember. But lately, sex has been really painful and not as enjoyable as it used to. On many occasions, I turned down my husband and he doesn't feel good about this. Does this mean that something is wrong?

Seigha, Port-Harcourt

Dear Seigha,

Something is wrong. Painful intercourse has many causes. In men, it can be caused by an infection, an allergic reaction to spermicide or latex, or by an irritation from previous sexual or non-sexual activities. In women, the causes are more varied and complex: There may be vaginal dryness, which could be caused in two ways. It could be that a woman is not aroused enough to lubricate because there has not been enough foreplay before penetration. Or, she may not have enough of the hormone estrogen in her system to create lubrication. This type of vaginal dryness is often associated with perimenopause or menopause. Other physical causes include endometriosis, infection, yeast overgrowth, or allergic reaction to latex or spermicide. Emotional causes of painful intercourse for women include gender identity conflict, a history of rape or incest, or intense childhood suppression of sex, all of which can lead to vaginal spasms that prevent penetration. Other emotional causes include hostility, anger, or resentment toward her partner or previous partners. Because painful intercourse has so many possible causes, it is best to consult a health care professional to determine the cause and get the best treatment. Men may want to consult a urologist. Women may want to consult a women’s health care provider. (Vanguard)