Three in 10 British couples now choose having a pet over becoming parents. Dog lover MONICA CAFFERKY explains why she has never regretted her decision.
At the end of a long day I love nothing more than flopping on the sofa with my little one.
She’s affectionate, cute and always looks at me with adoring eyes – but she’s not a baby, she’s my dog.
My Cavalier King Charles spaniel Tilly came into my life nine years ago.
I was 36 years old and my partner John, then 42, and I had decided that we didn’t want children but I wanted something to give love to so I opted for a canine companion.
I may sound batty, choosing a dog over a child but I’m not alone in my lifestyle choice.
New research shows that three in 10 British couples are putting off parenthood and choosing to get a pet instead and the most popular “furkid” is a dog, which is no surprise to me.
The study of 2,000 Brits was commissioned by animal charity Blue Cross to highlight the part that pets play in our lives.
The charity has even coined the term “generation pet” to describe the trend for choosing pets over children.
The research also reveals that 61 per cent of Brits believe that getting a dog before having children puts you in the right mindset for becoming a parent.
When Tilly came into my life I already knew that I didn’t want the patter of tiny feet in my home – I wanted the patter of paws.
Why? The list is endless.
At eight weeks old I could throw Tilly a chew toy and leave her in the kitchen for a few hours.
You can’t do that with a baby.
Then there was the potty training, which Tilly had cracked by the time she was three months old.
Yes, she needed some help – I let her out every 45 minutes during the day and got up once in the night – but the whole process involved far fewer mum-hours than training a toddler.
Tilly will always be my little furball and what’s more she never answers me back and doesn’t ask for money or taxi rides at 2am.
And while your teenagers are telling you you’re a rubbish parent, Tilly is showering me with unconditional love.
I’ve heard people say that you can’t love a dog as much as a child, which may be true but looking with affection at a dog can give you the same rush of emotion as looking at a baby, thanks to oxytocin.
Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone” and is released during breastfeeding and loving physical contact.
Scientists at Azabu University in Japan have recently found that dog owners experience a rush of this feel-good hormone when they interact with their dogs, just as the mothers of babies do.
Let’s be honest – babies grow into teenagers who don’t always trigger feelings of adoration in their parents.
Only two weeks ago I was in a nice restaurant for lunch with a friend and her teenage children were arguing loudly.
I was mortified and thought: “My dog would behave better than this.”
I’m not being mean – my 42-year-old friend later confessed that if she could go back in time she wouldn’t have children.
“I would stick with my Border terrier,” she said.
I thought long and hard about kids and realised a dog would give me more freedom.
There are other upsides to dog-ownership, too, such as exercise Tilly is always keen for a walk, unlike all the children I’ve met who need to be bribed to turn off their technology.
Dogs are also cheaper and fit in with your lifestyle.
They make you a better person too as you develop patience and take into account the needs of another living, sentient being – just as a parent does.
Yes, there are some downsides to being child-free. I won’t experience the joys of parenthood and I risk being old and lonely.
But I have three siblings, lots of nieces and nephews and a partner, so loneliness doesn’t worry me.
Besides, having a child isn’t a guarantee you’ll have somewhere to go at Christmas.
But a dog is loyal and loving and when I’m aged and grey I plan to get an old rescue dog and we can live out our twilight years together.
'DOGS GIVE YOU MORE FREEDOM THAN CHILDREN’
LISA GRAHAM, 34, who works in PR, lives with partner Phil Hall, 35, a photographer, from Caterham, Surrey. The couple own Mary, an 18-week-old Staffordshire bull terrier/Labrador-cross puppy.
WE adopted Mary from Blue Cross seven weeks ago and she’s adorable.
I wanted to get a dog before I even contemplated having children.
I’m just not ready for the commitment and investment children require – I still want to go on nice holidays and am happy in my job plus I love the lifestyle that owning a dog brings.
You have so much more freedom with a dog, compared to when you have children.
I’ve never been particularly broody for a child but I’ve been dog-broody for years.
When I’m in the park I notice the pooches rather than the babies and although I’m happy to visit my friends with their newborns, I feel much more excited when a friend gets a puppy.
My love of dogs began in 2004 after I left university and worked at a wildlife sanctuary in Venezuela.
There was a stray puppy at the sanctuary – I looked after him and fell in love with dogs as a result.
Obviously they do require care but not as much as children and we’re in a situation where Phil works from home two days a week and I can take Mary into work.
I’ve told my mum that she might not have grandchildren – it could just be dogs and thankfully she’s fine with that.
Adopting Mary has made our house a home.
Maybe at some point in the future we may have kids but at the moment we are very content with our little family of myself, my partner and our dog.
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