The pound is
plummeting, temperatures are plunging – and things are equally frosty in the
bedroom.
Three-quarters of
women lose interest in sex after reaching the age of 50, according to research
revealed last week.
Half of them
refuse to talk to their partner, let alone a medical expert, about it. And just
two per cent have sought treatment for a less-active sex drive.
The study,
commissioned by intimate skincare brand Replens, made depressing reading. But
the overwhelming verdict from the medical community was that couples should not
be suffering in silence.
On Friday, GPs
were urged to prescribe testosterone drugs to women with flagging sex drives,
claiming the therapy had them ‘going from feeling drained to running
marathons’.
Dr Arun Ghosh, a
private GP in Liverpool with a special interest in sexual health, said: ‘There
are so many treatments out there that can help with low libido or discomfort.
‘It’s so
important women don’t stay quiet about this – not only for the sake of their
relationship, but for their own health.’
Painful sex can
be a sign of a more serious medical problem, he added. ‘Getting checked out for
low libido is as important as having your blood pressure or cholesterol
checked. With a little bit of help, there’s no reason you can’t have the best
sex of your life in your 50s.’
We spoke to
Britain’s leading women’s health experts to find out exactly how to make that a
reality...
Dr Heather Currie
is spokeswoman for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists,
chairwoman of the British Menopause Society and founder of Menopause Matters,
providing information about symptoms and treatments.
She says: Reduced
libido in women over 50 is very often due to physical changes that occur and it
is a tragedy that, despite being easy to treat, so few women seek help due to
embarrassment.
Research has
shown that while nearly all menopausal women believe an active sex life is
important, more than half have experienced discomfort.
Oestrogen levels
fall after the menopause, causing the body’s tissues to become thinner, drier
and less elastic or flexible. This will not improve without treatment. One
option is oestrogen cream or gel – a form of HRT that doesn’t carry the risks
of pills or patches – which can be prescribed by your GP.
Good non-HRT
options (which can be used alongside HRT) include specialised medical
moisturisers that come in a pessary form. There are also options that do a
similar thing and can be picked up in chemists.
Sarah Berry is a
psychosexual and relationship therapist and the house therapist for London’s
female sexual health institution Sh! Women’s Store.
She says: Women
often wrongly believe a low or non-existent sex drive is their problem. But
there are two people in a relationship and dealing with it as a team is
crucial.
Rather than
trying to go from 0 to 60, take small steps. Take sex out of the equation and
focus on building intimacy again. There’s also no one-size-fits-all solution.
For some couples, kissing, holding hands, having a bath together or date nights
will help them enjoy each other’s company as they did at the start of the
relationship. For others, it might be taking up a new hobby or cooking
together.
When I meet new
clients, I tell them, often to their surprise, NOT to try to have sex straight
away. This allows space to talk about what they want from their sex life. It
also helps build up desire again.
Testosterone...not just for men
John Studd is a professor of
gynaecology based in Wimpole Street, London. An expert in the female libido, he
is renowned for his research on hormone replacement treatment in women.
He says: I always
say libido is a mix of head, heart and hormones. If a woman hates her husband
then, as gynaecologist, there’s little I can do to help. But I can sort
hormones – and the results are life-changing. Adjusting a woman’s levels of
oestrogen and testosterone should be the first-line treatment if they are
suffering from poor libido.
It nearly always
works, usually within ten days, and costs about £2 a week on private
prescription.
Contrary to
popular belief, testosterone is a normal, essential female hormone responsible
for energy, mood and libido, which is why depression and loss of libido often
go hand in hand. I prescribe female patients oestrogen gel along with
testosterone gel.
It’s the same gel
that men are given but just an eighth of the dose. It’s safe, has no side
effects and will boost mood and energy levels along with libido.
If combined with
oestrogen, potential side effects of testosterone replacement – such as acne
and excess hair growth – will be avoided.
Because
testosterone gel isn’t licensed for women, some GPs are reluctant to prescribe
it, but it’s worth nagging them. If not, a specialist doctor can help.
Improving your diet may refuel your desire
Dr Marilyn Glenville PhD is Britain’s leading
nutritionist specialising in women’s health, having written 14 books, including
the bestseller Natural Health Bible For Women.
She says: When it
comes to low libido in your 50s, don’t simply write it off as an effect of age,
or the menopause. It could be caused by an underlying problem that your GP
could diagnose.
It’s
also worth checking you’re not deficient in magnesium or iron, both of which
have a dramatic effect on energy levels.
There are also
many simple steps you can take to improve your diet – and, in turn, your sex
drive.
First, don’t skip
meals because you’re busy, or eat junk food on the run, causing blood sugar
problems, mood swings and a lack of energy.
Eat foods that
help to balance your hormones. Phytoestrogens are naturally occurring
substances found in legumes such as soya, lentils and chickpeas and also in
some seeds like flaxseeds (linseeds).
Avoid low-fat
diets. Essential fatty acids (found in nuts, seeds, oily fish and eggs) help to
‘lubricate’ the body in general, keeping your skin and hair soft.
Reclaim sexuality...on your own terms
Mariella Frostrup is a journalist, broadcaster and
newspaper ‘agony aunt’, who has spoken openly about sexuality and the
menopause. She is the editor of a new anthology of erotic fiction: Desire: 100
Of Literature’s Sexiest Stories.
She says: I was
brought up in Catholic Ireland in the 1970s, and let’s just say that it wasn’t
conducive to sexual expression. It used to be taboo for a woman to say what she
wanted to happen during sex. But it is not like that any more. Saying that, as
we get older, our lives get busier and the list of things to do every day gets
longer.
One of the things
that slips down at the bottom of the list is sex and it can easily become just
one of the things that become more of a pressure than a pleasure.
Having just
edited a book of 100 erotic stories, I’d highly recommend reading some. Getting
lost in a sexually exciting world can help us rediscover passion, and the
chance to do so on our own terms.
Many mature women
are having the best sex they’ve ever had. As we get older, we gain confidence,
and sex is an opportunity to express ourselves in a way we would not have dared
in our earlier years.
When you are
younger you are governed by these undeniable physical urges and as you get
older you need to be confident in how you are feeling about yourself before you
have a physical relationship with someone else.
For a lot of
women, it’s still about someone wanting you. Feeling desirable is the key to
female sexuality.
But
we need to be more confident. I think that reclaiming the power of your
sexuality on your own terms is incredibly important as you get older.
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